Tick tick, tick tick.
The clock ticks away, he lies next to her fast asleep, snoring away to glory. It’s half past 5 in the morning, there is a bird outside chirping, the sun is just about to rise. She can see the rising sun and she is nauseous, she pulls the blanket and rushes to the washroom, walks back to her bed. Something moves inside her tummy, she holds her tummy and the movement stops. Mentally counting how late she is, her head spinning. She’s almost 2 weeks late, but that usually happens, right?
It’s okay, it’s normal, sometimes my body can go absurd, this is not what I’m thinking. I can’t be pregnant, I just can’t, what will I tell my parents? She looks at the man sleeping in peace next to her, how will he take it? They just got together, what’s she going to say to him?
“Hey babe, I know we just moved in together but guess what? I’m PREGNANT.“
That’s going to pan out very well right? It took them 3 years so he could just say I love you Simran. And then it took her another 2 years to get him to move in together, he was a runner. Commitment wasn’t his forte, the first time she said I love you to him, he literally froze and had a wall drawn between them for 3 months. 3 months, she lost him for 3 months, is she going to lose him forever now? Could she raise a child alone? Was the child worth ruining what they both had? This isn’t normal, how could she be stupid? Why didn’t she use protection? Why? Wait did she? Oh, she can’t remember! This is why drunk throes of passion is not a good thing! She’s going to raise a child all alone! Her parents are going to be ashamed of her, they warned her against him. How will she support a new life when she can’t even support herself?
All these thoughts only increasing the searing pain in her head, the thoughts hitting her temples like bullets. Her entire body shivering with fear, her hands clutching onto the blanket around her stomach! Sweat accumulated around her forehead, eyes brimmed with tears threatening to fall. Another movement in her stomach, maybe she’s hungry? Maybe this is just hunger?
And he turns and places his arm around her waist where her hands are clutching the blanket. Awakened by her shivering he opens one eye and looks at her, and then slowly gets up sitting next to her. His fingers intertwining with hers he searches for her eyes, she can’t even manage to look at him. Guilt taking over her, she’s nauseous again, this isn’t even a good sign. Cocking an eyebrow up he asks her,” Well, did the aliens attack us?” She just stares at him, what is wrong with this guy? She’s dying of guilt here and he’s thinking about aliens attacking us? She tries calming down, he doesn’t even know what’s happening, it’s not his fault. Obviously he’s going to talk about aliens, he has the emotional quotient of a robot! His fingers hold on tighter,” Hey! What’s wrong? I was just joking you look pale, do you need something? Water? Food? Are you hungry? You’re freaking me out! What’s wrong? Did I kick you while sleeping or something? I can’t understand what’s wrong if you don’t tell me SIMRAN!” He lets out a frustrated sigh and his hands move through his black hair that’s all messed up in bed. She loves him, she knew it the moment they met. And she knows he loves her too, but does that mean he’ll stay. He runs, he always has! How is this going to work? What’s his reaction going to be, the tears now flowing from the edges of her eyes. She looks into his eyes and the tears don’t stop, they keep going down and down, in full flow!
He rakes his hands through his hair again, pulls the blanket off him, and gets off the bed. She looks at him saunter off outside the bedroom. This is it! This is exactly what he’s going to do he’s going to bolt away, kick me out and I’ll be alone! Just like this. I’m in love with a runner!
To be continued.